I don't know why it has to be a headache that always inspires me, but that's the way it is. So here I am, venting my anger and frustration at the pathetic state of my existence on another stupid blog which will last about a week or as long as this phase does. Last night I slept as soundly as I did all of last week, which is not really much to be thankful for, unless one considers the fact that staring at ones ceiling until dawn slowly gropes her way into your room through the cracks in the curtains keeps the nightmares away. I had been having a terrible week, and last night seemed like the climax (until today happened) which meant that every bleeding thought that entered my mind was negative negative negative. This left me angry (with myself, the rest of humanity, all of Creation and the Creator Himself), frustrated (because I was angry with myself, the rest of humanity, all of Creation and the Creator Himself) and fatigued (for some reason I can't comprehend). Anyone with half a brain will tell you that this is not the perfect recipe for a good nights' rest but the exact opposite. Thus, the headache.
Now, this headache, I think, is generated from a point right behind my right eye. It's not exactly pain, but feels more like a bubble inside the eye is slowly expanding, and the pressure forces the brain against the skull, and that lets me feel my heartbeat – in my head. It is constant. It has been here since I (didn't wake up and) got out of bed in the morning, it has enhanced the irrationality of my mothers' arguments over coffee about expenses and my presence (or absence) at home, and it accompanied me through the streets in the afternoon, on a most fruitless trip.
[I must at this point let myself get sidetracked by something I just remembered. My brother-in-law will attend my brothers' wedding in a few days, and he must have nice clothes to wear at the occasion. Now he already has the nice clothes, but he needs to have them dry-cleaned, and of course, I have to be the one to go to the launderers' and get the shit done. The place is very neat and they've got white marble tiles on the floor and this huge lobby-like place with white (very classy) couches where one waits 'til ones' garments are brought out, BUT the man and the two girls at the counter are deranged. I walk though the glass doors (the place has this aura which makes one NEED to do the catwalk and the total 'attitude' act), give the guy the receipt and look away like "yeah, hurry up; I've got better things to do than stand here so you can stare". The guy stares at me for a bit (I don't really think it had anything to do with the violet-indigo-blue-green-yellow-orange-red scarf I was wearing around my head) and then hands the receipt to the girl. The girl walks off to this little glass-walled room at the back and says something to the guy inside who stops what he's doing (ironing a very expensive-looking suit) to pull out a three-piece suit (my brother-in-laws') from the closet behind him. Now I'm feeling good 'cus I've got something done today – the suit is ready – until I realize that the guy pulled it out to start ironing it, which, the girl returns to tell me, will take about another half-hour. Urgh! So I start walking out (with the same total catwalk thing) and then realize that the bloody receipt says that the suit should have been ready yesterday. So I turn around (Prince Charming copies Cameron Diaz hair fan) and proceed to initiate a conversation with the guy behind the counter, which goes a little like this:
"what's the date?"
"sorry miss?"
"the date today"
"Thursday"
"no the date"
"(brahaspathinda kiyanne Thursday ne!?) Thursday"
"no the DATE!"
"ah! Twenty-third"
"yeah, and this receipt says the job shoulda been done for yesterday?"
"yes madam, but you did not come to collect it"
WTF???????????????????
Okay that was terribly random and not such a bad thing, but I was pissed off you see, I needed to pretend something went wrong today. Plus I needed to prove that there are stupider and 'insaner' people than me – although how far I was successful I must leave someone else to judge – Getting back to whatever nonsense I was talking earlier…]
The headache. It was with my while I got soaked in the rain, it was with me when the freaking three-wheeler broke down IN the rain, it was with me as I sat in my room at three o'clock in the freaking afternoon waiting for lunch and it did not leave even when I got my meal. Oats by the way (?!). By this time the ringing in my ears had also set in and I was settled with having a terrible day. And…
You know what? I think I'll just say I had a terrible day and just leave it at that, because I have to get up at eight o'clock in the fucking morning tomorrow to start writing a short story which I have to complete for Monday morning. Monday morning and I haven't even started thinking about it…
I just wanted to say "Fuck the World!"
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